# SELFHEALING.ME

## Gentle Ways of Living, Healing & Abiding With the Whole of Life

**The good.
The bad.
And the everything of Life.**

Self-healing does not mean doing everything by ourselves.

It does not mean that every illness, loss, fear, relationship difficulty, or painful memory can simply be thought away.

Self-healing means learning how to participate wisely and compassionately in our own well-being.

Sometimes healing asks us to act.

Sometimes it asks us to rest.

Sometimes it asks us to speak.

Sometimes it asks us to listen.

Sometimes it asks us to turn toward what hurts.

And sometimes the most healing thing we can do is simply abide gently with what is already here.

This website offers simple practices for the mind, body, heart, relationships, and spirit.

Some practices use words.

Some use noticing.

Some use silence.

Some use prayer.

Some use the body.

Some teach us how to remain with difficult experience without immediately trying to fix it.

And some simply help us appreciate that Life is also filled with goodness, beauty, friendship, creativity, kindness, ordinary pleasures, and love.

There is no single correct way to heal.

There is simply an invitation to become a little more present, a little more understanding, and a little kinder toward this Life we have been given.

—

# HOME

## Welcome to Self Healing

Life includes so much.

There are mornings of fear and afternoons of gratitude.

There is anger and forgiveness.

There are people we cherish and people we struggle to understand.

There is illness and health.

Loss and beginning again.

Loneliness and belonging.

Work and rest.

Laughter and grief.

Beauty and disappointment.

There is the extraordinary.

And there is washing our face, making breakfast, looking out the window, speaking kindly to another person, and getting through an ordinary day.

**It all belongs to Life.**

SelfHealing.me is a place for learning how to meet more of that Life with awareness, gentleness, courage, wisdom, and love.

The purpose is not to create a permanently peaceful person.

It is to become increasingly able to live a **whole life**.

A life in which fear can be known without becoming all that we are.

A life in which anger can be listened to without automatically becoming harmful action.

A life in which grief can be loved.

A life in which goodness can actually be noticed and enjoyed.

A life in which we can sometimes stop fixing ourselves long enough to discover that awareness, kindness, prayer, friendship, the body, and simple presence can already provide considerable support.

### A Simple Orientation

When something arises:

**Notice it.**

**Name it gently.**

**Make room for it.**

**Care for yourself within it.**

**Abide with it when helpful.**

**Act wisely when action is needed.**

And when goodness comes:

**Notice that too.**

Healing includes learning how to receive the good.

—

# START HERE

## You Do Not Need to Know Where to Begin

If you have arrived here because something hurts, you do not need to understand the entire website.

You do not need a philosophy.

You do not need a perfect meditation practice.

You do not need the right words.

Begin with what is already happening.

Perhaps there is:

**fear**

**stress**

**anger**

**sadness**

**pain**

**loneliness**

**confusion**

**tiredness**

or simply:

**I don’t know.**

That is enough.

Take a moment to notice where you are.

See the room.

Feel whatever is supporting your body.

Notice one sound.

Notice one breath without trying to improve it.

Then quietly acknowledge what is present.

Perhaps:

**There is fear.**

Or:

**Sadness.**

Or simply:

**This is difficult.**

You have begun.

Self-healing often begins not with changing experience, but with establishing a kinder relationship with experience.

From here, you may choose whichever doorway feels most helpful:

**Words Heal Me** — when language feels supportive.

**Safe Noting** — when you need to recognize what is happening.

**Safe Abiding** — when you want to remain gently present.

**Healing Abiding** — when you want to explore how a different relationship with experience may support healing.

**Pure Mind Abiding** — when you are drawn toward spacious awareness, contemplation, meditation, or prayer.

There is no required sequence.

Choose the doorway that feels warm and wise today.

—

# WORDS HEAL ME

## WordsHealMe.com

### Warm and Wise Words for the Human Heart

Words can wound us.

Words can frighten us.

Words can become inner criticism repeated for decades.

But words can also comfort.

Clarify.

Encourage.

Bless.

Reassure.

Forgive.

Name what has previously felt impossible to name.

And sometimes a very small phrase changes the way the whole body meets an experience.

**Words Heal Me** explores the healing possibilities of carefully chosen language.

Not magical words.

Not words used to deny reality.

Not affirmations that require us to pretend everything is wonderful.

Instead, these are **warm and wise words that help us meet reality more compassionately.**

Sometimes the words simply name:

**Fear.**

**Anger.**

**Grief.**

Sometimes they allow:

**Yes.**

**There is.**

**Let it be.**

Sometimes they balance:

**There is grief . And . There is LOVE.**

Sometimes they encourage:

**Good work, Ross.**

Sometimes they pray:

**Jesus . And . Fear.**

Sometimes they open into spacious awareness:

**PURE MIND . And . Fear.**

And sometimes a few wise words bring us to the place beyond words.

Silence.

Presence.

Abiding.

### Central Principle

**The purpose of a healing phrase is not to force a particular outcome.**

A phrase can simply help us meet this moment with greater kindness, clarity, spaciousness, or wisdom.

—

# SAFE NOTING

## SafeNoting.com

### Notice What Is Here — Gently

Before we can respond wisely to experience, it helps to know what is actually happening.

Safe Noting is the practice of noticing and gently naming present experience without unnecessarily becoming lost in explanation, judgment, or emotional story.

Something happens.

Before immediately reacting:

**Fear.**

**Anger.**

**Thinking.**

**Tightness.**

**Sadness.**

**Rushing.**

**Wanting.**

The note is small.

The awareness around the note can be spacious.

Safe Noting does not mean digging into painful experience.

It does not require investigating every memory.

It does not mean forcing attention onto something overwhelming.

Safety comes first.

You can look around the room.

Feel your feet.

Notice the chair.

Hear the sounds around you.

And then recognize only as much of the difficult experience as feels workable.

### A Simple Safe Noting Practice

**Ground.**

Notice where you are.

**Note.**

Use one or two simple words.

**Allow.**

You do not have to solve what you have named.

**Return.**

Come back to the body, room, sound, breath, prayer, or another stabilizing resource.

### For Fear

**Fear.**

### For Anger

**Anger.**

### For Stress

**Rushing. Thinking. Tightness.**

### For Grief

**Sadness. Missing.**

Knowing what is here can sometimes be enough for this moment.

**Noting is enough.**

—

# SAFE ABIDING

## SafeAbiding.com

### Being With What Is Without Abandoning Ourselves

Noticing tells us what is here.

Abiding teaches us how to remain.

Safe Abiding is the practice of staying compassionately present with experience while continuing to honour our limits, needs, body, and sense of safety.

There is no virtue in overwhelming ourselves.

There is no spiritual achievement in enduring more emotional intensity than is helpful.

Safe Abiding says:

**Stay when staying is wise.**

**Step back when stepping back is wise.**

**Ground when grounding is needed.**

**Rest when resting is needed.**

The word *abiding* does not mean passivity.

It means learning that we do not always have to fight, fix, suppress, understand, or escape an experience immediately.

Sometimes we can simply accompany it.

### Gentle Abiding Phrases

**Abiding . With . Fear.**

**Abiding . Around . Anger.**

**Abiding . Holding . Grief.**

**Abiding . With . This.**

The phrases are invitations, not commands.

The aim is not:

**“I must tolerate this.”**

The invitation is closer to:

**“Can there be enough kindness and space here that I do not have to abandon myself because this experience is difficult?”**

That is Safe Abiding.

—

# HEALING ABIDING

## HealingAbiding.com

### Gently Being With What Needs Care

Much of human suffering involves a natural desire to make unpleasant things disappear.

We want fear gone.

Pain gone.

Anger gone.

Grief gone.

Uncertainty gone.

Sometimes we can change circumstances, and wise action is essential.

But many experiences cannot be immediately removed.

Healing Abiding explores another possibility:

**What happens when we change our relationship with what is here?**

Instead of:

**How do I get rid of this?**

we may occasionally ask:

**How can I wisely be with this?**

Healing Abiding does not promise that abiding will cure every wound or remove every difficulty.

It proposes something gentler:

> **Abiding may create conditions in which healing, understanding, integration, acceptance, wise action, or peace can more easily unfold.**

Fear may still be fear.

Grief may still be grief.

But we are no longer necessarily fighting ourselves because grief or fear exists.

### Healing Abiding With Fear

**Fear is here.**

**Abiding with fear.**

**Nothing needs to be forced.**

### Healing Abiding With Anger

**Anger is here.**

**What needs care?**

**What wise boundary or action may eventually be needed?**

### Healing Abiding With Grief

**Love and grief may both be here.**

Neither has to cancel the other.

### The Heart of Healing Abiding

**Healing does not always mean getting rid of experience.**

Sometimes healing means becoming increasingly able to live wisely and lovingly while the experience is here.

—

# PURE MIND ABIDING

## PureMindAbiding.com

### Resting in the Spaciousness That Can Include Life

There are moments when we discover that awareness itself seems larger than any single thought, emotion, memory, or sensation passing through it.

A thought appears.

Awareness knows it.

Fear appears.

Awareness knows it.

Pleasure appears.

Awareness knows it.

Grief appears.

Awareness knows it.

Pure Mind is one way of naming this spacious, clear, wholesome capacity for knowing and presence.

It need not be treated as a doctrine.

For some it may be understood psychologically as open awareness.

For some, contemplatively.

For some, spiritually.

For some, prayerfully.

The phrase **Pure Mind Abiding** points toward resting within that larger field instead of becoming completely identified with every changing experience.

### A Simple Phrase

**PURE MIND . And . Fear.**

Neither side has to eliminate the other.

There can be spacious awareness.

And fear.

There can be awareness.

And grief.

There can be awareness.

And another human being whom we do not fully understand.

Eventually the words themselves may become unnecessary.

There is simply:

**knowing**

**allowing**

**being**

**abiding**

Pure Mind Abiding is therefore not necessarily another technique to perform.

It can become a way of remembering:

> **Experience is happening within something larger than the experience itself.**

—

# LIVING THE WHOLE OF LIFE

## The Good, the Bad & the Everything of Life

Healing can become too focused on suffering.

We can spend so much time working with anxiety, fear, pain, trauma, grief, and difficult relationships that Life itself begins to feel like one large healing project.

But healing also includes learning how to notice when nothing is terribly wrong.

A warm drink.

Sunlight.

A meal.

A bird.

A conversation.

Finishing something useful.

Taking care of our body.

Helping somebody.

Laughing.

Creating.

Resting.

Going outside.

Feeling grateful.

Being interested.

Being alive.

These experiences matter too.

### The Good

Notice goodness when goodness comes.

Instead of immediately moving to the next problem:

**Good.**

**This feels good.**

**Good work.**

**Thank you.**

Let the nervous system receive pleasant experience.

### The Bad

When Life hurts:

**This is difficult.**

**There is fear.**

**There is anger.**

**There is grief.**

Meet what is true without unnecessary judgment.

### The Everything

Much of Life is neither wonderful nor terrible.

It is simply Life.

Laundry.

Appointments.

Meals.

Traffic.

Waiting.

Work.

Cleaning.

Resting.

Weather.

Other people being other people.

Bodies being bodies.

Life being Life.

The practice becomes:

> **Can this ordinary moment also belong?**

### A Whole-Life Practice

When Life is good:

**Receive it.**

When Life hurts:

**Care for it.**

When Life is ordinary:

**Be here for it.**

When action is needed:

**Act wisely.**

When nothing needs to be done:

**Abide.**

This is not merely healing from Life.

It is learning how to **live Life more completely.**

—

# PRACTICE LIBRARY

## Choose What You Need Today

The Practice Library can organize the entire site according to the visitor’s present need.

### Fear & Anxiety

Safe Noting
Grounding
Body awareness
Abiding with fear
Pure Mind and fear
Prayer phrases

### Anger

Noting anger
Understanding what anger protects
Safe Abiding
Boundaries
Forgiveness
Wise action

### Grief & Loss

Grief phrases
Love and grief
Somatic abiding
Prayer
Remembering
Compassionate presence

### Stress & Overwhelm

One thing at a time
Noting thinking
Grounding
Rest
Breathing
Safe Abiding

### Self-Love & Self-Acceptance

Warm self-talk
Name-based phrases
Compassion
Good Work
Forgiveness
Belonging

### Relationships

Acceptance
Boundaries
Non-attachment
Forgiveness
Listening
Equanimity

### Body & Somatic Awareness

Grounding
Sensations
Movement
Touch
Breathing
Body Abiding

### Prayer & Spiritual Practice

Jesus Abiding
Pure Mind
Blessing
Silence
Contemplative prayer
Love

### Everyday Goodness

Gratitude
Good Work
Pleasant moments
Creativity
Helping others
Friendship
Nature
Rest

—

# ABOUT

## Why This Site Exists

SelfHealing.me grew from a simple question:

**How can a human being live more wisely with everything Life brings?**

Not only anxiety.

Not only grief.

Not only pain.

But relationships.

Love.

Creativity.

Disappointment.

Ageing.

Fear.

Faith.

Questions.

Beauty.

Ordinary days.

And the repeated discovery that sometimes very simple practices can change our relationship with experience.

A word.

A pause.

A breath.

A prayer.

A hand placed gently on the body.

Looking around the room.

Naming what is here.

Allowing.

Listening.

Abiding.

This website gathers those possibilities in one place.

Nothing here requires you to believe exactly what someone else believes.

Try what is helpful.

Leave what is not.

Adapt words so they feel warm, wise, honest, and natural to you.

And remember:

**Healing is not another demand to become perfect.**

It is an invitation to participate more lovingly in the Life already here.

—

# SITE-WIDE CORE TEACHING

## A Gentle Six-Part Way of Meeting Life

### 1. NOTICE

What is here?

### 2. NAME

Use simple, honest words.

### 3. ALLOW

Do not immediately fight the experience.

### 4. CARE

What would support this body, heart, mind, or situation?

### 5. ABIDE

Remain when remaining is wise.

### 6. ACT

When action is needed, let awareness and care inform what comes next.

And then:

### RECEIVE

When goodness appears, allow that to belong too.

—

# MASTER SITE STATEMENT

**SelfHealing.me is a gentle exploration of how awareness, words, the body, compassion, prayer, wise action, and abiding can help us participate in our own well-being while living the whole of Life — the good, the bad, and the everything.**

—

# IMPORTANT SITE NOTE

The practices offered here are intended to support reflection, mindfulness, emotional well-being, spiritual practice, and self-care.

Self-healing does not mean that a person must heal alone, and these practices are not substitutes for appropriate medical, psychological, emergency, or professional care.

Seeking wise help from others is itself an important form of self-care and healing.